The slice of supreme pizza lay untouched on his plate as Bob* leaned across the table, speaking in a low voice of his experiences the last several months. It was the night before our 3rd Fresh Start seminar in East Asia. Our hosts had arranged a special dinner meeting with Bob at Pizza Hut to hear some background about some of the members of his fellowship group who would be participating.

His cell phone turned off and the battery removed to avoid being tracked or listened to, Bob told our team how his local fellowship group had been targeted recently by the authorities. The leaders were taken into custody suddenly one night last fall, and interrogated for many hours. The group was forced out of their building and has not been allowed to return since. Members of the group were followed, harassed, questioned, and threatened. Now meeting in small groups in private homes, the numbers have dwindled from 1000 to about 300.

“I’m always looking around me now,” Bob confessed. “If I’m in a public place, I wonder if there are cameras or people listening or someone following me.” The stress of his situation has even taken a toll physically. One of our hosts told us later that she didn’t recognize him at first because he’s lost so much weight in the last few months.

A Peace Stronger Than Threats

Yet as he recounted these events, Bob’s face radiated a peace that went beyond his circumstances. “I want to be like Job,” he smiled. “Even though I suffer a lot, I will thank the Father in everything.”

He was even able to see some good in this period of trial. The members of his fellowship group, though fewer in number, are stronger than ever before. And he’s been able to share the reason for his hope with some of the authorities who have been questioning him!

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45). By giving thanks in the midst of his suffering, believing that God will work it all for good, and praying blessing on those who were mistreating him (Romans 12:14-21), Bob was on the path to forgiveness and freedom.  His heart was in a position to reflect the Father’s love. With boldness and joy, Bob was able to proclaim in the middle of persecution, “I am FREE!”

Going Vertical!


*Name has been changed.

I must confess, after my first class with Billy, I prayed he would never come back.

From the moment the four-year-old “little emperor” marched into my small English classroom in northeast Asia, he and I were in an all-out battle for control. Billy was king of all he saw, and woe to the one who dared to challenge his authority.

When the rest of the class stood and sang “The Wheels on the Bus” with motions, Billy sat glued to his chair, arms crossed, scowling. When the children were practicing English dialogues with animal puppets, Billy snatched another child’s puppet, yelling that he wanted the lion, not the monkey. While the other kindergarten students obediently copied the words from the board – cat, bat, hat – Billy filled his paper with scrawling Chinese characters. I complimented him on his skill in writing Chinese, then gently asked him to please write the English words from the lesson. Billy turned on me, his eyes flashing. “I speak Chinese. Chinese is a very beautiful language. English is not a beautiful language.”

As the weeks and months went by, Billy consistently challenged every instruction, unfazed by every attempt at discipline. I had never seen so much animosity and anger in such a small package. Though I repeatedly asked our school administrators to remove Billy from my class, my requests went unheeded.  Billy’s defiance escalated to a point of physical aggression – threatening to poke me in the eye with a pencil, spitting in my face, and even slapping me so hard my glasses flew across the room!

After almost every class with Billy, I would lock the door of the classroom, turn on a worship CD, put my head down on my desk, and cry. “Please, God, please don’t let him come back. I can’t take it anymore.”

I wonder how often the Father is tempted to give up on us completely. We can be pretty unlovable sometimes. We stubbornly insist on doing things our own way. We laugh when He corrects us, we mock His words, and we’ve even been known to slap Him and spit in His face. Does He ever wonder if we’re worth it? Does He lock the door at night, put His head in His arms, and cry over our stubbornness?

I wish I could say that Billy instantly changed, and that he became a sweet, polite, well-behaved boy. But then he would have been easy to love. Sacrificial love expects nothing in return. Even if the difficult people in our lives never change, can we love them as Christ loves us?

Are we “Free To Love and To Be Loved?”


“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

Going Vertical!


The honking of taxis and the shouts of street vendors provided a backdrop for our conversation as my friend Joy* and I sipped our cappuccinos in the far corner booth of the Asian version of Starbucks.  It was June 2009. I’d been traveling with Fresh Start in East Asia, sharing with church leaders about forgiveness and freedom. But I had a sense that I needed to visit my old hometown at the end of my trip and spend some time with Joy, a single American girl my age who had been my “coffee buddy” when we were both living in the small northeastern Asian city.

It had been almost a year since I’d left Asia, and I had a lot to catch up on. Stories of disappointment and loss emerged as Joy listed one friend after another who had left the area over the past several months. Even her teammates had been gone for extended periods of time, for family emergencies or medical issues. She felt abandoned by everyone, and it seemed as if God wasn’t hearing her.

My heart ached for Joy. I knew what it was like to feel isolated and alone. I too had struggled with teammates and leaders who didn’t seem to understand. I was amazed at how God had sovereignly ordained for me to be there for Joy in this difficult season. Through tears, I told Joy that if the only reason I had to go through that pain of some of my experiences in Asia was just so that I could understand and be a friend to her right now, then it was all worth it.

I Thessalonians 5:18 says to “give thanks in all circumstances.” That means even in the difficult circumstances. In ALL circumstances, we can thank the Lord that He is at work in our lives, knowing that He works ALL things together for His good (Romans 8:28). In giving thanks we are declaring that our hope is in Him, and that we trust Him with our past, our present, and our future!

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son…”  Romans 8:28-29 NIV

Going Vertical!


*Name has been changed.

”Bu, bu, bu.” Looking at her lap, the middle-aged woman quietly shook her head, motioning that we should pass to the next person in the circle. It was her turn to tell her story, but she wasn’t ready to share. Not yet.

Sitting cross-legged on the grass on a warm spring day, I felt privileged to be the only wai-guo-ren, or foreigner, in this small group of amazing women. The others were all youth workers in East Asia, participating in a week-long conference on how to reach the rising generation.

The message that morning had been on the Father heart of God, and we were reflecting on how our relationships with our earthly fathers affected our image of our heavenly Father. Embarrassed at showing any sign of emotion, the women struggled to overcome their cultural reserve and open their hearts to the group. Yet one by one, the stories started to pour out.

“When I was younger my father would let me sit on his lap, or hold my hand when we walked. But after I turned four or five, he never held my hand or hugged me again. He didn’t want me to be spoiled.”

“My mother died when I was young, and my father worked in another city and sent money to my grandparents, who raised me. I only saw him every few years. I went to live with him when he remarried. I was fourteen, and I didn’t know him at all. He was like a stranger.”

“I don’t remember my father ever praising me. He said he didn’t want me to be prideful, so he always criticized me and told me what I could do better. I wanted to please him, but whatever I did, I felt like it was never enough.”

“My father never told me he loved me.”

Finally, after everyone else in the group had shared, the last woman agreed to tell her story. I had to lean in close to hear as she began to speak in a low voice, haltingly, her eyes on the ground. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she recalled the little girl she had been, decades ago, who just wanted her father to show that he loved her.

In the silence that followed, I looked around and saw that everyone could identify with her pain. Each woman had a similar story of rejection and disappointment. The unmet desires of childhood had left gaping wounds in their hearts that were still raw years later. As we hugged each other and cried together and prayed for each other, I knew I was witnessing something powerful. God was healing those deep hurts, revealing Himself as our true Father.

Where our fathers or mothers or spouses or friends have been imperfect representations of love, our heavenly Father wants to fill those gaps with His perfect love. God IS love (I John 4:8). He is the true definition of unchanging, unfailing, unconditional love. He will never disappoint you. Let Him fill the holes in your heart with the love of your heavenly Father.

You can be FREE to be the REAL YOU!

Going Vertical!

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, ” Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:15)

Are you FREE to be the REAL YOU?

Do you believe that you are the “sum total” of your life’s experiences, or some defining part thereof?

  • Do you believe that you are what you have done?
  • Or do you identify more with what you haven’t done?
  • What has been done to you?  Or, around you?
  • What others have said to you or about you?

Are you FREE?

If you do, you are actually believing in yourself, and deciding what is true about you, and potentially you are becoming a slave to shame!

But, you can be free, if you surrender your life to Jesus Christ and allow Him to define you…


Are you FREE?

You need to agree with who GOD says you are. That is how we humble ourselves before the Lord and reverse the arrows of pride, shame, fear, rejection, anger, and depression.

“But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.  Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’  So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”                                                                                  Galatians 4:4-7 NIV


Going Vertical!

Pastor Steve Peterson

Fresh Start For All Nations


See Freedom from the Message of the Arrows so you can learn more about being free. Pastor Steve’s videos and PDF transcripts will give you insights straight from God’s Word in order to help you apply these timeless truths. You will learn what these arrows are and consequently, how they are affecting you. This will help you agree with God about who you are and as a result, gain freedom in your own life.